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1、 【寫作指導(dǎo)】申請信一般包括以下內(nèi)容:1.介紹信息來源(有時(shí)可省略);2.表明申請心意,即寫信的目的;3.介紹個(gè)人簡歷并表明自己的優(yōu)勢;4.表達(dá)愿望并請求答復(fù)。 【真題再現(xiàn)】假定你是李華,在校報(bào)英語專欄看到了學(xué)?!坝⒄Z文化節(jié)”的一則招募啟事。請閱讀啟事,并根據(jù)寫作要點(diǎn)和寫作要求寫一封應(yīng)征郵件。VolunteersWantedOurannualEnglishFestival,whichwillbeheldonJune15-17,2015,isnowlookingfor20studentvolunteerstoprovideserviceforTalentShow,SpeechContest,an
2、dEnglishDebate.Ifyouareinterested,pleasesendanapplicationemailatyourearliestconveniencetoMsC. 寫作要點(diǎn):1.表達(dá)寫信意圖;2.陳述應(yīng)征目的;3.說明應(yīng)征條件(性格、能力等)。寫作要求:1.郵件詞數(shù)不少于100;2.開頭和結(jié)尾部分已寫好,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù);3.可根據(jù)情況增加細(xì)節(jié),使行文連貫;4.不能使用真實(shí)姓名和學(xué)校名稱。 DearMsChen,ImLiHua,astudentfromClass2,Grade3._Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua(2015
3、年陜西卷書面表達(dá)) 【審題定調(diào)】本寫作任務(wù)要求根據(jù)給出的招募啟事寫一封申請信,并給出了三條寫作要點(diǎn)。人稱以第一人稱為主,時(shí)態(tài)主要用現(xiàn)在時(shí)?!緟⒖挤段摹緿ear Ms Chen,Im Li Hua, a student from Class 2, Grade 3.Imwritingtoapplyforthepositionasastudentvolunteer.Ireallywanttoobtainthispreciousopportunitybecause,byofferingmyservice, Iwillbeabletoimprovemyorganisationalability,comm
4、unicationskillsaswellasmyconfidenceinspeakingEnglishinpublic.Asanoutgoinggirl,Igetalongwellwithmyclassmates.Besides,IhavesuchagoodcommandofEnglishthatIhavebeenelectedasassistanttomyEnglishteacher.IhavehelpedhersuccessfullyinseveralofmyclasssEnglishactivities,whichhasbeenappreciatedbybothteachersandc
5、lassmates.IamsurethatIcanliveuptoyour expectationsperfectly.Iwouldbegratefulifyoucouldgivemeyourkindconsideration.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua 【范文點(diǎn)評】本文完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。第一段表達(dá)寫作意圖,第二段陳述應(yīng)征目的,第三段說明應(yīng)征條件,覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)。最后一段還禮貌地表達(dá)了自己的愿望。文中用到的高級詞匯有obtain,precious,organisational,aswellas,outgoing,haveag
6、oodcommandof,appreciate,perfectly,liveuptoonesexpectations等;用到的復(fù)雜語法結(jié)構(gòu)有非謂語動詞短語、such.that引導(dǎo)的結(jié)果狀語從句、非限制性定語從句、賓語從句、條件狀語從句等。 【學(xué)生習(xí)作】Dear Ms Chen,Im Li Hua, a student from Class 2, Grade 3.Imwritingtoapplyforthepositionasastudentvolunteer.TherearemanyreasonswhyIputinfortheposition.Tobeginwith,Icanenablemys
7、elftogainsomevaluablelifeexperienceaswellasworkskills.Secondly,Ithinkmakingfriendswithpeopleasavolunteerwouldbeawonderfulthing.Besides,volunteeringwouldprovidemewithagoodopportunitytocontributetoourschoolandbreak downbarriersofunderstandingsothatIcanbuildself-confidencethroughit.IthinkImqualifiedfor
8、theposition.Imkindbynature,easy-goingandalwaysreadytohelpothers.Ihaveagoodcharacter,beingconfidentandindependentinlife.Whatsmore,EnglishismyfavoritesubjectandIvewonseveralprizesinEnglishcontests,whichwillhelpmemakeyourgoodchoice.Idappreciateitifyoucouldgivemetheopportunitytoprovemyself.Lookingforwar
9、dtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua 【點(diǎn)評】該習(xí)作完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù):覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),應(yīng)用了較多的復(fù)雜語法結(jié)構(gòu)(定語從句、賓語從句、狀語從句、非謂語動詞等)和高級詞匯(putinfor,enable,contributeto,barrier,bynature,appreciate等),有效地使用了語句間的連接成分(tobeginwith,secondly,besides,whatsmore等)。存在的問題主要有:一、部分表達(dá)不夠精煉(如Icanenablemyselfto)或語義重復(fù)(如第三段第二和第三句); 二、部分內(nèi)容缺乏邏輯性(如第二段末句中的breakdo
10、wnbarriersofunderstandingsothatIcanbuildself-confidencethroughit);三、部分內(nèi)容表義不清(如whichwillhelpmemakeyourgoodchoice)。此外,雖然本題寫作要求中有關(guān)詞數(shù)的部分只有下限沒有上限,但也不宜寫太多內(nèi)容(本文148詞)。否則一方面會占用過多的考試時(shí)間,另一方面也會增加出錯(cuò)的機(jī)率。 【改后稿】Dear Ms Chen,Im Li Hua, a student from Class 2, Grade 3.Imwritingtoapplyforthepositionasastudentvolunteer
11、.TherearemanyreasonswhyIputinfortheposition.Tobeginwith,Icangainsomevaluablelifeexperienceaswellasworkskills.Secondly,Ithinkmakingfriendswithpeopleasavolunteerwouldbeawonderfulthing.Besides,volunteeringwouldprovidemewithagoodopportunitytocontributetoourschool andbuildself-confidence.IthinkImqualifie
12、dfortheposition.Imkindbynature,easy-goingandalwaysreadytohelpothers.Whatsmore,EnglishismyfavoritesubjectandIvewonseveralprizesinEnglishcontests,whichwillhelpmeofferabetterservice.Idappreciateitifyoucouldgivemetheopportunitytoprovemyself.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua 【實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練】下面是另一位同學(xué)的習(xí)作,請根
13、據(jù)點(diǎn)評中指出的問題對它進(jìn)行修改。DearMsChen,ImLiHua,astudentfromClass2,Grade3.Ivereadyourannouncementintheschoolnewspaper.Ireallywanttoparticipatethisactivity.IdliketobecomeavolunteerfortheEnglishFestival.Withthisopportunity,Icanworkoutmyselfandimprovemycommunicationskills.Now,Iwanttotellyousomethingaboutmyself.Imar
14、esponsiblestudentandalwaysobeymy words.Beingaactiveyoungperson,Igetonwellwithmyclassmates.AllofthemthinkIdbeabletodothisworkwell.ImalsogoodatEnglish,especiallyspokenEnglish.Illtrymybesttodothisworkwell.Pleasegivethischancetoexperience.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua 【點(diǎn)評】該習(xí)作基本完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。存在
15、的問題有:一、沒有安排好內(nèi)容的主次,比如寫信目的著墨過多而應(yīng)征目的則一筆帶過;二、語法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào),高級詞匯有限;三、文中有一些詞匯和語法方面的錯(cuò)誤,如participatethisactivity,workoutmyself,obeymywords,aactiveyoungperson,givethischancetoexperience。 【參考答案】DearMsChen,ImLiHua,astudentfromClass2,Grade3.Ivereadyourannouncementintheschoolnewspaper.IdliketobecomeavolunteerfortheEngl
16、ishFestival.Withthisopportunity,Icanimprovemycommunicationskills,increasemyconfidenceandmakemorefriends.Now,Iwanttotellyousomethingaboutmyself.Im aresponsiblestudentandalwayskeepmyword.Beinganactiveyoungperson,Igetonwellwithmyclassmates,allofwhomthinkIdbeabletodothisworkwell.Moreover,ImfluentinEnglish,especiallyspokenEnglish.Giventhechance,Iwillsparenoeffortstocompletemytaskperfectly.Pleasegivemeyourkindconsideration.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yourstruly,LiHua